Awakening....【醒觉】

这几天，觉得自己怪怪的。我到底怎么了？也许心太空虚，找不到自己到底要的是什么东西。我的心里想的不是全部都是钱吗？我还在烦什么？难道我要像别的女生一样，去追求是爱情吗？ 想被人保护吗？想有人去爱吗？我是这样的吗？我不懂不懂！！我真的累了，真的很累。很想找一个地方休息。可是，我又怕一旦休息，我会追不上别人的脚步。我不要每次在别人的后面， 我不喜欢看别人的背面。我要站比他们更高的，我要看的世界比他们更多的，更辽宽的。我喜欢 高高在上的感觉。我是时候，清醒了。勇敢去付出吧!!! 去寻找我想要的东西。

Sharing........

分享是温馨的一个形容词，就如分享快乐，分享痛苦。但是对我来说分享什么都不是。因为我不知道要与谁分享？工作上的压力和疲惫，我该向谁分享。原来是没有人。为什么我那么可悲呀！！也许是自己问题。因为我每一次都会告诉自己，不可以付出100%的心，至少保留20%给自己。这样才不会被伤到很深，20%是为了保护自己。每当我想找个人分享，打开手机的contact list，原来找不到一个人去分享。那时候才发觉，我是孤独的。我只想要一个而已，告诉我有那么难吗？当我遇到了瓶颈，想找个人说说话，有个肩膀让你靠一靠。当我哭了，有人会准备纸巾让我擦一擦。当我达到成功的那时刻，有人会站起来为你鼓掌。我真的很想拥有那样的知己。我有及格去拥有他们吗？可以吗？

黑(black) + 白(white) = 灰(grey)

很多人都很喜爱看到彩虹，因为代表了雨后天晴。说明了一切不好的事情过了，美好的时刻的来临。彩虹虽美丽，但只是短暂。那灰色颜色呢？它是不属于在彩虹的世界，而是处在黑与白的之间。灰色即特别又特出。但是在灰色的空间里充满寂寞，孤单，绝望和无助。在那里的事情都是负面的。我是属于那一国的吗？

在灰色的空间，
我可以隐蔽自己，因为我不够自信。
我可以躲在角落数着无数的寂寞，因为心结解不开。
我爱坐在电脑的前面，因为唯有“它”了解我。
我爱望着无边无际的天空，因为可以感觉到自由。
我不爱和别人说话，因为我怕秘密被发现。

人最可怕的是搞不懂自己的方向，一旦踏进了灰色地带，混淆了黑与白。傻傻的分不清楚到底该选择了那个方向？

BeCausE U LoVe mE

Song: Because You Love Me

Sing By: Celine Dion

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through
through it all
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I a Because you loved me
You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the
sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by
you
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't
speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into
my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of
you
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't
speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't
speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
Because you loved me
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

坚持。。到底。。。

我在心里反复的问自己，是不是坚持了一件事情就一定能会成功？答案是：“未必”。我觉得自己真的很无能，为何别人那么出色而自己为什么不能达到那样的程度。我每一次都说十个人里，一定会一个成功的。这是因为这十个人里面的那一位付出了比他人多。我真的很怕很怕，自己不如他人。我很怕输的感觉。在学习的过程中，要求进步更进步。就如你用了一个办法到了一个车站，再去下一个车站的过程，必需把自己磨练得更强，才能与他人相争。未来的路凹凸不平，有多少的波折没人知，但有一点我很确定的是我会一个人的闯到终点。

Working Time.... 1 mnt ago....Hopeless

When start the career, anything must learn..learn... learn this learn that..haz..sean. When face the problem, the boss will ask u think the solution, solution. How i find this solution for you my dear boss. i already reach my limit, no more idea for you. all knowledge of my mind me already go through from them. lastly, me also cant find the solution for you. Please don't abuse me. Me just only human no the superman, spider man. i know u r my boss, i shld fulfil yr requirement, but u knw at sumtime, me reali so stress to face with you. me just a intership student.me just the beginner , no expert or intermediate. cn u leave a little bit space for me to breath. u nw totaly press me til breathless. Me also 1na upgrade myself full of knowledge, b myself more strong thn b4. bt cn u giv me sumtime to make a change. me no like other person, talent and clever.me is a stupid and noob human. Me need take sum time to add the new knowledge. Lastly, work full of stress, tired and responsibility..i just hope this half of year, anything wil run smoothly.. reali thx god to bless me.

Work = war

Finish the study period. Start another journey (work). Feel excited, stress and tired? Work no easy that I expect it. When starting the work period, it will start and till forever. No more rest station for you, no more fun, no more joke. Work like the war, full challenge, adventure and responsibility. As the worker, you need provide the job with efficiency to your boss. No more people will guide you. All must start zero by yourself. How many responsible you can contribute to the company, how many strengthen inside yr mind, how strong you can settle the problem. All depend on your ability to control all the problem. From now, I start afraid about the work. I scare I cannot achieve the target of my boss. Now, I just thinking how I improve and upgrade myself be more strong and knowledge. How can I improve myself same level with other person. When I just can be like them, so expert in handle the hard job. All this must start with the learning. In study period, has the idiom represent study hard, study smart than when in work , the study idiom change be work hard work smart .Anything must start with learn and after that is more practice. So, learn and practice must process together. Than anything will run smoothly and perfect. I saw 1 video from the facebook, the video content is talking about the even little bit mistake; it will be the sweet memory in your life. From the video, I like 1 sentence that "A little bit imperfection, that make them perfect for you. That means, don't always care the little mistake or wrong in your life, may be this mistake will bring along the memory for you. Treasure anything that beside you and accept the small lack from them. Make your life be wonderful and be happy life.